i have a beef with “face id”…

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I finally had to upgrade my phone, and I keep wondering why Apple has to change all the good things…like the fingerprint. My fingerprint always worked before, and was the quickest way to unlock my phone. Now that the button is gone, I had to let the new phone figure out my face in order to unlock without a passcode. I still keep pushing the Home button instinctively, even though it’s not there anymore.

Well there are other problems with Face ID. First, if you wear glasses like I do, you must always wear them in order to unlock your phone, or you will not be recognized. Fortunately, you can program an “alternate face,” so I removed my glasses for that option. Never mind that this made me self conscious, as the phone could now “see” all the dark shadows around my eyes! This worked for a while, and I was enjoying how quickly my phone would unlock just by looking at it.

However, this morning when I woke up and instinctively picked up my phone, it would not unlock. I figured that I must look so different in the morning that even the stupid phone doesn’t recognize me!

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I’ve noticed lately, when I take selfies, that I really NEED those photoshopping apps. Thank goodness for Photoshop. I can literally look almost decent after filtering and editing about a hundred options. Here’s an example. I cannot show the “before,” unfortunately, as I’m too embarrassed, but I look pretty good here, considering what’s going on. Here’s the recent selfie of my last infusion:

Processed with VSCO with b5 preset
Processed with VSCO with b5 preset

I mean, aside from my crossed eyes (an effect of the sarcoidosis which gets prominent when I’m tired), and the lovely port on my chest, I look great! Not a blemish in sight!

Well, back to Face ID. The other thing about this little monster is that it takes a while to set up. You have to rotate your face a few times up and down and around so that the phone recognizes your entire profile. This was really weird to me. I sort of felt like a convict posing for a jail photo. Also, I don’t want to show my bad side to anyone, much less my phone! This technology thing is really getting unnerving. Does anyone else agree??

So I’m not sure that I like my new phone so much, as it reminds me that I don’t look great. It’s like having a mirror but you can’t see yourself. I much prefer how my dogs see me:

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So the next time you consider upgrading your phone, if you have not yet done so, think about it hard. You might just want to buy a dog instead!

M

 

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